Do you get distracted, like I do?
What’s the difference of getting distracted and having ADHD?
We all get distracted, right? How can we deal with people who seem distracted all the time and what can we do to bring ourselves back to the “real world”
On Layers of Communication this week I visited with Elona Rohde You can find her at www.asktheadhdkid.com and she is hosting a retreat in American Fork just for women retreat.asktheadhdkid.com in the coupon section enter ‘Lydia’ to get a discount.
The biggest difference between getting distracted like a normal person and having ADHD is how OFTEN it happens. Is it frequently like 20% of the time, or is it more constant like 90% of the time?
These tips she shared with us can be helpful for everyone, especially dealing with people, or yourself, if ADHD is involved.
Here are my top 10 take-a-ways from our visit:
- Embrace the distractions. You know they will happen. Stop getting upset and embarrassed about it.
- Ask for and welcome reminders. Loving reminders show that people care and love us. As long as we are using the loving tone of voice a reminder is an act of love. A different tone of voice, or when a reminder is not welcomed it is nagging.
- People with ADHD are not trying to ignore you. They literally cannot hear because they are so ultra focused on their current activity. Sometimes it appears to be a distraction when it is really a focus on something, like a game or looking out the window, that others don’t want them to be doing. To bring them back a gentle touch often works. Sometimes a shake is required. Use as a loving reminder, as mentioned above.
- We don’t give offense. Offense is taken.
- Really in own world. Get attention periodically – talk and give answers back but not really have mind there.
- When we get distracted it is okay to say, “I’m sorry I stopped listening. This is what I heard you say last. Will you pick up from there and tell me again please?”
- Don’t punish for honest answers. Encourage honesty, especially in children and reward small accomplishments like being on time.
- We get most of our communication from body language and facial cues. Elona often had no idea what was being talked about/expected from her. She would follow the pointing arm thinking she must need to go that direction.
- Expectations are not agreements. Explain what is expected and allow people to agree with them.
- Be quick to forgive. Try to believe that everyone is doing their best with what they have available, including knowledge.
Think ***If she had known that she didn’t hear her she would respond differently*** and the entire situation and emotions around it change.
I know I will take some of these tips and put them into action! I hope you will benefit from this, too.
Tune in next week when I interview MaryAnne Adams about business relationships